Fallen.
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
{ 7:13 PM on '' }


Yay, i had my first day of driving today. I would say it's pretty cool driving. Btw im learning auto. Yes yes yes, not manual. Sad, oh well.


Okay im here to rant about my food rampage.
It has gone out of control i tell you. Really. It is OUT OF CONTROL :(
I really feel sooo fat now i can hardly move aroung.
I had so much duck for dinner just now too :( Sad.
Seriously ah, my life revolves around food.

That is so disppointing and uninspiring.


Ah. Now many pple ar fretting over the unis to go to. Seriously, Im still watiing for answers! Sigh
This week is the mission trip over the weekend. Man, i don't have any idea how prepared I am, Seriously. This doesn't feel right :(

(OH my goodness my arms are so big)
Good-ness gracious me.




I am overweight. I think i look overweight too.
Ugh. :((((


Does Slim 10 still work?
Bah.

Anw the weather these days are getting more ridiculous. It is so hot that i even can sweat after bathing! My goodness.

I lead a sad and sweaty life. OH man, life is so bleak now. Boooo.






I need to runaway.

Monday, May 25, 2009
{ 10:26 PM on '' }


Bah.

What a looong day. Man, im tired. I need sleep.

I hope the unis will reply to be asap.


I've lost myself completely now, no more the Cheryl i knew. Bah, sad.

Lalallalalaaaaaaaa.................................... okay this is not a very productive entry. Just feeling what i shouldn't be feeling at this point in time. We all have our worries and issues. oh my goodness, I better grow stronger out of this.



Peace out.

{ 11:31 AM on '' }


Hello everyone.

I can't believe im gonna start my driving soon! Yay! 'know everything has been hapening reall fast.
You know it's already approaching end May.
5 months of my holiday. Y'know, this is one of the longest holiday i've gotta trasure it. Man.

lalalal, Sigh, have i been difficult? Self centred? Selfish?

Bah, life's pretty much of the same thing and the same pple over and over again. Sigh. Well, i've only gotta look forward to what's ahead.

Anw, CG lesson yesterday was quite nice. Like enlightenment. The one who resist temptation is the one who knows the strength of it. Resist totally, not halfway. Then he'll becme stronger. Yeah, this is so true. Well oh well.

I feel i've been neglecting God. :( But i thank God that His love still remains foreer!
I'm really stubborn and difficult sometimes. Sigh. God knows.

Lalalallaaa. Im imaptient and insensitive. Tsk. I feel humans just have thousands and millions of things to feel about, to complain about, to hurt about, to get angry about yada yada......
But it's all because of satisfying self. It's hard to be 100% selfless seriously. It's almost impossible i feel. Yknow everytime when i wake, i wanna feel good. I wanna feel grateful. I wanna seize the day like never before you know?

Ir ealised independence consist of a lot of things. not just going out alone or just knowing how to be, it's being and embracing it 100%.
It's true when they say give your all or nothing.
Like how i want the unis now to give me a definite answer. It's a YES or NoO.
Man, just a few more days! AAaaahhh.. i really want to know what's my direction.

Have i comprimised my standards in life? Have i done things that i shouldn't?Have i neglected the important things in life? People NEED God. If people just rely on people, they'll go nowhere, because no one can be 100% selfless in an opinion, 100% knowing how you are feeling, 100% understanding what you're going through.

Maybe there are, one in a trillion perhaps.


There's really this thing with darkness and light. Like pple dont really like doing things in light. i.e in the day, or where there is light. Light symbolises purity and truth, totally. Like being transparent about everything. Darkness on the other hand, is what pple prefer. I.e at night, in the dark blahblah.. Darkness. Don't you all find darkness is exciting, yes, but reflects uncertainty, deception, cheap thrills?

Im talking funny yes, but just think of like, how darkness is enveloping the lives of many today. Seriously, i've now known. I know.

Lalallala......... till here then. I need a tan and i need to lose weight. Goodness. Im turning into a Big Mac.

Saturday, May 23, 2009
{ 12:22 AM on '' }


Man, I realised that the deadline for unis are nearing.

Oh my.




AAAHHH.

Friday, May 22, 2009
{ 2:12 PM on '' }


I AM OFFICIALLY TIRED OF SPENDING MY TIME AT HOME

Aaaahh. Yah yah yah, and the house is so noisy, and warm yada yada
But getting out of the hosue means i have to walk under the really very dislikable hot sun. OH MY GOODNESS what's the point bathing seriously

ugh. I am an unhappy fat junkie.


{ 1:02 AM on '' }


Some things we don't know why.
Some things we don't know how.

I read in my friend's blog that if humans are allowed to feel so much, then each emotion is a gift. I totally agree. The ability to feel and to love, they are gifts. But on the other hand, abusing the gift would be totally wrong and unhealthy. I love gifts! :)

Have you ever ever questioned why we tell ourselves that we wouldn't do somethings but often ending up doing them? It is because of what we let ourselves be controlled by. Really. I always remember this part of a verse, "i beat my body and make it my slave". Yes. Impulsive provocative emotions or actions stirred up which causes us to fall, is bad. Boo.

Oh well, i haven't been reflecting and feeling myself for the past few months. Probably because i've lost myself you know. When will be the time when i learn to rise up and learn from my mistakes? To get out of my too comfy comfort zone?

If you think about it actually, i realised no one can be fully right in an argument. Totally no one, not even the mediator. Bah, we are so flawed, but who says we can't avoid situations that make us flawed? In all sense yes we can. Yes we can!

Ah, im just totally confused and withdrawn altogether. My focus is wrong, my thinking is wrong, what's left is right?




Lalalalala having one of my thought-full nights now. It has been a looong time.

Y'know, what parents warn about is always correct and good. It never harms us, it protects us. But you have to get to it to get hit hard in the head. I don't want to be those of the norm, i want to be different.


Does anyone understand?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
{ 4:47 PM on '' }


Hello.

Im bored to tears now. Sigh.. So there's been a lot going on i guess. Actually no, just typing for the sake of it.

Have you ever realised how like, we don't mean what we say, we just say it cause we always do or we are used to saying things? Like, blogging for example, at least for me. Or... when we keep saying we're bored/tired/lazy/sleepy? that's how i feel anw.

Bah, i want to do smth. Waiting for pple isn't a very enjoyable experience.

Okay so i've been saying how a big fat junkie i am
I am.

Anw i realised i can't swim for nuts seriously. Bah.

lalalalala....... im bored. (i really am, not the routine thing i mentioned earlier)

LALALAALALLALALAA.................................. Yogi's getting married this sat. Time flies.

Okay im off now. I need to do up many many things.


I need a Personal Assistent, anyone?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009
{ 12:54 AM on '' }


Hello.

Boy am i tired. First day at work as a telemarketer. Well, let's just say that being a telemarketer is not that easy. Man, i hope i don't get bored of it, i neeedd appointments!!

Seriously, my life needs to get movinngg.. Im lazier by the second.
Im glad that I've got money to spend, but it's depleting fast..
Y'know sometimes people get distracted in life. Really. Life why am i bothering so much about money when what matters most is my mental/physical/spiritual health? I need to act out more. Sigh, God is still faithful Amen.

So it's my mum's birthday! Yay. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
and ya it's a couple of other pple's birthdays as well. Happy Birthday!
Are birthdays that significant? Yes, of course they are! It's like hello you were BORN into this earth on that day! And every year you live here means smth. Birthdays are actually for pple to remember you i guess, to know that that someone is remembered. Yeah.
It actually means how significant we are in the lives of others, yeah?

AM i significant?
Pple remember it's 6th of nov yeah :)

Lalallallalalaaaa, i never imagined myself to get into an argument, be it one-sided or not,that often in a short period of time. It's kinda weird, right insecure? Bah oh well, I should just grow up and make things right. I need God, really i do.
Well, it's may already and look at my face, appalled appalled appalled. Time time time time.

Anw, my face condition is getting worst... terrible. My shape is getting worst..terrible. My eyesight is getting worst...terrible.
Signs of ageing.

Oh my.
seirously im so dissapointed with my eyesight. I actually need glasses. AAAHHH! I rebuke it! AAAHHH!
Yeah, so me in glasses will be hitler without a moustache. Haha!

Bahlalalallaa.......
i miss you, you, you!

1. Cheryl deosn't like responsibilities.
2. Cheryl deoesn't like stress.
3. Cheryl gets stress when she is given responsibilities.
4. Cheryl whines and moans in her stressful state
5. Cheryl does not get things done.
6. Cheryl feels like running away
7. Cheryl ran away........................... in her mind
8. Cheryl does it last minute
9. Cheryl feels lousy about herself
10.Cheryl gets emo
11. Cheryl gets stress
13. Cheryl whines and moans in her stressful state
14. Cheryl still gets more responsibilities

AAAHH and it never ends. Cheryl doesn't intend to change, TO just asked her mind to change, but not her heart. Terrible.

TRANSFORMATION.

COME TO ME......!!


If it's just that easy.

15. Cheryl whines and moans again.

Monday, May 04, 2009
{ 9:02 PM on '' }


Hi all.

Yeah. Havng a jobless life ain't boring, it's what you do with your time. Clearly, a sloth like me would feel much of a sloth still. Really.

Guys i finally jogged again today. I feel refreshed! but hello i wonder when will i jog again.

I've no more interest in like blogging really, nothing much I've been filling my life with one thing subcounsiously and i it kinda freaks me out. Terrible. You know guys suffer from menopause too, and i mean guys like young guys. ugh.

Sometimes you don't know why you do things this way, why you feel this way, why you act this way, but you'll be clear later on.... I've no inspriration. aaahh!

SO driving.



DDDDDDDRRRIIIIIVVVVVIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!1
KKIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like zac efron. awesome haha

been catching a lot of movies lately. Terrible. Haven't caught x men yet, so yeah, i'll be watching it. mmm.. and my remaining pay this friday! YAY IT BETTER COME

And last of all, the thing I keep forgetting,

what should i do for my mum!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Friday, May 01, 2009
{ 12:46 AM on '' }


HELLO WORLD.

Oh goodness my stomach feels empty. Okay it FEELS empty but beneath it is like, fats. okay okay.

I can't believe i'm still talking like when im going on 19 this year. Seriously, this is my last year as a TEENAGER. Guys, i've been always ranting and complaining and whining about everythign
My age, my life, myteenage years, my weaknesses balhblah, i never get bored of it.
It amazes me.

Okay. I must try to get bored of things, really, like for these kinda things.
Anw, i've been bombarded with irregular mood swings and attacks my goodness, scary. Lallala.

Anw i spent a lot of money today.
Organic cafe at Novena was great! GO TRY! Yeah man
And this new shopping mall beside bugis street is amazing. it feels like im in the jetsons world, yeah.Cool, awesome. And 17 again really rocked. yay.

okay so i'll get my remaining pay next week i hope i can save just a bit. Really.
And i've been losing focus lately. It's already may. My goodness if i go on like that it'll be Christmas tmr.
Some things im still struggling with. Im always struggling with myself. It's been the case since i was like........... ten? -________-
Some things never change.
And my posts, goodness, they're like almost the same everytime. WHY!

Eh really i need to get bored of things. Really. Im such a freak.

Anw, it's the looong weekend so yeah, happy labour day pple!

TO get a job? TO learn my driving? TO pierce my ears? TO change myself.


LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

Cheryl

Female.
19.
Loves freedom but doesn't treasure it
Basically still a kid crying for momma


Loves

To be accepted
To belong
To be embraced
Yay.